Of life universe and magic

Well, it's been a low ebb, confidence sinking, losing the zing..thank God it passed. Things fall in place if you just let it be..step back and take a deep breath

magic magic magic...it happens!

Magic 1: We cracked one simple campaign idea yippie!!!
Magic 2: I finally get my post paid connection
Magic 3: (Awaited) need my UK visa in flat three days..pray I get..London calling and dreams too :-)
I am sort of getting my zing back.
A friend said "you have spark, you are a bubbling cauldron" Thanks friend.

I have been so used to being at the centre of action and attention (professionally). I guess I have not been able to handle the low key for last one month. I want action! action! that's what drives me.

I need the centrestage! I know! I need to awaken the fire in me!

Why am I resigned to singlehood

Life seems content on all fronts, but sometimes a lurking question sets me wondering.
Why am I single?
Am I committment phobic? What type?
A rushed glimpse into my past relationships makes me reflect.
I have repeatedly formed alliances with men (unconsciously) with those who were emotionally unavailable, or men who were not good enough for me (so my friends would tell and I would turn a deaf ear to it) or worse still who I knew were fully into me.
All in all a doomed story from the very start.
And when it would officially end, I would resign myself to fate and cry my heart out. For isn't crying over loss normal?
Well, yes, or trying to behave normal (subconsciously). At least I have imbibed some from the collective normal ethos.
On the same note, now that I think, I have always run away from men who bring along security, lasting love and stability as they all want.
What is it that I want?