Dear 'S'
To start with I have moved on. But have I really?
You still remain the one I loved most intensely and honestly. I still remember January 11 when you said "What if 'we' get married?" My reponse may have been not so conencted with the question but yes deep down it was the happiest moment of my life.
You left to take up a job in another city and over the months that followed our relationship traveled more 'downs' with your emerging doubts and more 'ups' with my gut to hold on and make things work. Time for me froze in those words you spoke and my dreams started weaving you and me together happily ever after.
I was willing to put all at stake all that I held on with my life - myself and all that made 'me'. Even started looking for options to move to the city with you. But apparently all of it was not enough to move you.
For the first time ever, I was willing and ready to give you the reins of my life. I let go of the guards that defined me. All my armours fell. Yes you made me feel like a woman.
The 'boyish charm' of you swept me off my feet and staccato moments started becoming linear memories.
Your playing guitar on the phone sometimes your eagerness to sing your favorite numbers and also some on demand for hours together made my heart go out to you. Yes I was willing to nurture that child in you and more.
The first time we met did not seem like the first at all. There was something that decided the pace something I could not decipher.
Imagined you as the man in my life and it brought alive the dream and desire to have you around all my life as mine.
You were not here but you presence was vividly etched in all of me and my life. I was weaving a dream.
It was a beautiful dream only if you were dreaming the same with me we would have made it a living reality.
I am happy for you and your new life with another someone.
Love you still the same. Love doesn't change but gets buried and rusts with time when sudden flashes turn it green and alive in the dream unlived.
Love always.
Yours
