Delhi, they say is a city of dreams. Is it?

I arrived in Delhi 11 years back for my higher studies and stayed on. The city has given me all from education to opportunity - it has all been a smooth sail.

A landscape of dreams indeed, on its way to being a world class city ahead of commonwealth games.

Government raised over Rs.52 billion for the 2010 Commonwealth Games as well as provision of land for stadiums and other constructions, Rs.105.71 billion for the first phase of the Delhi Metro and over Rs.10 billion for the high capacity bus corridor.

Delhi is iconic of a shining India and a thriving middle class with its shopping arcades, malls and glitzy cars doing the rounds. Add to the list the rich and mighty, the movers and shakers. Can it get fancier than this?

Now contrast this with almost 20 % Delhi’s population living in slums - the second highest slum population in India. The living conditions are worse than we can imagine without basic health and hygiene facilities. Sewage flows freely on the streets outside Sanjay Colony, one of several colonies in northwest Delhi at the edge of a large dumping ground for much of the city’s garbage which we visited. Clean drinking water is a very precious commodity. Space crunch forces even a family of five and more to share a one room accommodation and cook outside in the open with drains without cover.

It is this paradox of existence that confounds me without any plausible answer.

The national capital ‘boasts’ of doubling infant mortality in the last three years. It’s a shocking revelation on scratching the shiny surface.

They don’t have access to even basic health facilities and those that are available are far off and expensive. In effect an estimated 83 % of the urban poor mothers give birth in their homes and without skilled attendants. Women and children stand to suffer the most.

Government blames it on teeming migrating population that infest the cities.

Why do they come to the cities in the first place?

They too like many of us come in search of their dreams of better future. Agriculture is no longer a viable livelihood option for many. They land up in the city working as daily wage labour or picking up some odd jobs to eke out a living. Only that they lag far behind in keeping pace with competing dreams of those above. In this race of inequality a poor man’s dream obviously comes crashing.

Where does this reality fit in my life which is far removed from the one I saw? I guess I knew.

I felt connected to their dreams, those smiling faces of children that greeted when we entered the narrow alleyways of the colony. I felt connected to my consciousness.

I came back with a greater sense of responsibility and resolve to do the best I can to make a difference.

Looking at the urgent needs of the community, Save the Children India is providing comprehensive medical care through mobile health clinic catering especially to the needs of women and children living in the slums of northwest Delhi.

We have taken the first step. Much more needs to be done. Together we can.

Where is your heart, Kunal?

“I was appalled when I learnt that 2 million children die every year in India before they are five – that is 1 child every 15 seconds. While I am thinking about which next restaurant to go to or which clothes to buy, there are so many millions who are crying for help. I don’t have any technical knowhow but I know I want to make a difference. I am not here with my head, I am here with my heart willing to do my bit,” said Kunal at the Delhi launch. Audience cheered on and EVERY ONE moved to the wall to sign up their support for the campaign in the end.

While Kunal may have his heart in the right place, he had many hearts skip beats from the moment he landed in Delhi.

The morning of October 8^th was an utter frenzy. The campaign team including our lovely interns were to leave early for the venue which was the lawn of India Habitat Centre to oversee that event guys were doing their job well and followed our brief to the T.

“Make sure the layout is not over the top. We want a classy and elegant set up,” was the brief to the event company when we first met.

While I was supposed to be leaving with the team, but we had a popular radio channel RadioMirchi interested in interviewing our celeb heartthrob. So now I had to go pick Kunal from the airport and take him to the studio. (I am sure many of you may know Kunal set India and Bangladesh fighting over himJ)

There was a whole joke in the office about me just a text away from Kunal. Fun stuff! But when you are dealing with celebs for work you have to ignore your heart, never mind a good looker like KunalJ I have learnt this in my little stint at celeb management for another charity even earlier. Treat them as equal, give them the deserving respect and keep it business.

So I reached the airport in time to pick our star power for the evening. I was pacing with impatience.

My phone wouldn’t stop ringing – event guys, team members, venue coordination etc etc.

An hour and a half after the scheduled time the man arrives. I requested him to come to the radio station straight. He complied.

“I am sorry, you had to wait for so long but my flight was delayed,” he said with a winsome smile.

While we stood there talking, there were hushed whispers from many quarters – some came up to him for autograph, some came and literally forced their mobile camera phones in my hands to get their pictures.

Phew!!! How do celebrities manage this constant glare? I wondered aloud. “It’s just a job for us too, Pragya,” he answered.

The staff at Radio station were all set with a welcome bouquet, girls all huddled at the reception, office boys just hanging about to catch a celeb from the close quarters. Cameras went click! click! click! endlessly.

Time to go on air. Kunal knew his lines well – about Save the Children – ending with ‘log on to www.every-one.in to support the campaign.’

Well done Kunal!!!

As we go down, there is another rioting bunch ready with pens and papers for his autograph. He complied with smile.

My phone started ringing again as we sat in the car. Some crisis. It stopped. Rang again. And that continued.

While I was dealing with issues, He was snoozing and ummmm snoring too J

Leaving him at the hotel with the car, I rushed in a taxi to the venue to sort out stuff.

Wow! I was impressed with the set up. It just looked fantastic, just the way I thought it should be.

I spotted Raghu in the exhibition area and rushed to greet him and thank him profusely for the lovely pictures – the highlight of the evening along with the actor.

Awesome start to the campaign. EVERY ONE’s heart is in the right place. The effort behind the launch paid off. It’s just the beginning. We will keep at it till we ensure that every child has a future to look forward to. We make a resolve.

(When I am very happy, my eyes well up) Thanks team.

Behind the scene

A month of launches – in Bomaby and Delhi and Calcutta joined in last week. Action packed and thrill filled.

From celeb soiree to community voices, they made for the best launch experience.

Bombay here we come with EVERY ONE.

We were all set – venue set, mothers from the communities arrived, we needed our celeb supporter to turn up now to complete the checklist.

It was pouring with rain on 5^th October in Bombay which seemed to dampen the spirits a bit – only a bit though.

The young and famous actress and former Miss World Priyanka Chopra was the bait to the media who feeds on Bollywood and buzz around them.

She had agreed…ummm…well could not make it. Those of us who have managed events know it’s all about risk management and last minute glitches. But not all lost. We had a video message from her to play at the launch.

We had to make this a success nontheless. So I zoomed the car to pick up Shabana Azmi, noted actress and social activist supporting EVERY ONE campaign.

Thank God for the new Mumbai sea link connecting two far ends. It was a real blessing in the daunting rain and worsening traffic. For a moment I distracted myself to grey sea view and regained my composure.

(About Mumbai sea link: Took10 years to make instaed of estimated 4 years and cost triple the estimated amount –f ew thousand crores- and you have pay 70 Rs to cross the sea link. It still is the pride of Mumbai.)

I reached in time. Shabana had returned from Hyderabad just a while ago.

“Pragya, why don’t you join us for lunch? I will be just 10 minutes to change and ready to leave,” said Shabana.

Food was obviously the last thing on my mind. I politely declined and asked for a glass of water.

We were escorted to the car with umbrella. It seemed like a cloud burst, rain just wouldn’t stop

Back to business. I started briefing Shabana about the campaign and the issue. She seemed very well clued in to the issue so that did half the work. I recapped few pointers as our car drew close to the venue.

Mothers from the communities were eagerly waiting for interaction with a ‘film star’ after a session with Dr Manisha, Save the Children’s own health expert.

After leaving her with the group and staff, I rush upstairs to check if our media friends had arrived. Very few by then. Some called to check if we were still going ahead with our launch. Some were stuck in traffic and rain. As they say ‘The show must go on’.

So finally our media friends started trickling in to make a comfortable count.

We were ready to launch. Shabana came on stage and made quite an impact. EVERY ONE echoed along, “Enough is Enough.”

Indeed. It’s a shame for India to let its children die while boasting of 9% GDP growth. While 2 million children dying may be mere statistic for some, it is a personal tragedy for families who lose their child.

India! it’s a wakeup call to save your children.

Letter from a friend - connecting lives on a singular plane

hey there,

sorry for not calling back last night, had ppl over,,. and spent the entire day today being a book worm. there is so much to give as an update, at the same time there seems to be nothing at all. feel like writing in to you. have a feeling that there is a similar energy floating in your life too.. cld be mistaken.

as far as events go here is a quick update. Got a lovely new house. the job is having some financial woes, a number of close friends have exited the city in various stages over the past month, from socially packed days, the wheels of time are now itching by slowly, and in the middle of all this is me.

Came back from a short trip to UK, with a desire to get out of india next year... a yearnig, driven more i think because there is no strong left in Bangalore that keeps me going, and there is a lot of travelling to do there. Yet the inner me knows that the hollowness that i feel now has nothing to do with the city i choose to live in.

and the paradox is, being the self aware people that we are I also know that no man, marriage, location can make this "fulfillment" come. yet there is such a high desire to flop over like a very tired dog in the delhi heat, and wait mournfully for someone to do something.

No real man has come. a few old friends popped here n there. The ex bf/live in partner still made a strong case to want to marry; spent diwali with him, yet the relationship has changed its shape for me and i cant "feel" anything arnd him anymore.

Sorry. as i type this i sound like a mini sucidal case. It is not true. Am ok really. there are happy days and some quiet ones. but the overall sense is one of calm anticipation, like the stormy silence before a mob decided what to do.............how are things with u.. see a lot of angst in the status messages and the frenzy of work as well.. the getting so much to come to life at work and the life at home must be a battle u face..

r u in touch with somesh? does the karmic connect get re called now n then.... hope the mail did not come as too much of a vomit session.. was not the intention. ....... would love to know where u are, does this sudden silence, this feeling old yet young, so much to do, yet the feeling of needing someone to be there, disappearance of old ties, anticipation of new? is this me just with too much brain space or universal..............

await ur reply...
warm hug

n

And I did respond by a phone call and marvelled at the cosmic connection. I passed on this mail to my other best friend who said "Hey there is so much of us in the mail," and gushed how she has found her motivation back.

Three people find connection in reflection of life and love and all that defines it.

On bended knee is no way to be free - Eddie Vedder

On bended knee is no way to be free
Lifting up an empty cup, I ask silently
All my destinations will accept the one that's me
So I can breathe...

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
Half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know
A mind full of questions, and a teacher in my soul
And so it goes...

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Holding me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you...

Everyone I come across, in cages they bought
They think of me and my wandering, but I'm never what they thought
I've got my indignation, but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive...

Wind in my hair, I feel part of everywhere
Underneath my being is a road that disappeared
Late at night I hear the trees, they're singing with the dead
Overhead...

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
Consider me a satellite, forever orbiting
I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me

Removed and content

Well it is a nice feeling and strange at the same time. I am in Calcutta and I am oblivious of all the clutter that throng on me in Delhi.
It is like removed from the scene of action and you cannot be bothered.
There is a calmness and stillness within which has suddenly stepped out to see the clutter passing by and yes to it's utmost relief.
The emotional clutter that was talking over my head is now taking a leisured walk.
Woohooo! I am getting back to control and loving it.
And I have decoded a solution or so I think.
I don't want anyone to spoil this clutter even though the temptation of my heart may leap over.
I need to keep the sanity intact and let that rule.
Choices I have had in Love:
1. Cried my way to the doom
2. Desitiny led to the doom
3. NOW I have so far been laughing my way to the same doom
Don't get me wrong here. i am not blaming any of the above. Choice at the end of it was mine. At least I know what I ought to be doing.
And that is I am not letting anyone upset my inner equilibrium.
Let the other sort out their own mind and be around on my condition. As I mentioned i my earlier post my strength becomes my dooming grave. Yes I am strong enough to tackle my emotional vagaries. Cry out loud and let it out and bounce back on my feet.
But I am not going to let anyone to use it as a dumping bag. My own life situation is already enough to deal with, I don't want more.
I have got my answers. I am removed and content.

Stillness but it still moves

The stillness within is like a lull before a torrid tumult.
I am in a time trap that knows no rescue. I cajole, convince myself, it listens but starts behaving like a spoilt child again.
It fancies something and wants it no matter what.
While stillness steels me..something within continues to move in a timeless span..motions of theb heart I mean.
Past makes a dramatic comeback and catches me offguards. While I had resigned to the reality, it confronts me bang bang and leaves me to deal. No big deal. I am used to this, am I not? I am a woman of today who knows that she knows. But the vulnerable in me recieves no love like a step child as it were.
Well being strong or percieved as one is like digging your own grave. You take upon yourself not just your own burden but in an attempt to make it easy for the other you go wham!!
Well this time while past is knocking at my door hard, present is no simplified theory.
Like they say from bad to worse. Present knocks me off with its own intricacies.
I was talking to this friend in Nepal about love.
The fact that both of us at different points declined what we recall as the love we did not recognise.
"Praggie I have this feeling that love will find us at 60,"
We still gush over the godforsaken love.
Though still but iy moves and it will.

life's adrift

Branching out
Life finds a root
Laeves are falling off
To augur the autumn
Yes Autumn it is

Life's adrift
Trying to find it's root
In the sunshine and grow lush

Grey seems hounding
And haunting
I need freshness of the spring

Momos, tea and walk

Fun filled. No strings there. Carefree and casual yet inexplicable thrill..An ease that only long lasting knowing bring along. There is a 'known unknown'. But no cares.

Momos at the busy evening stall, and walk along for another tea stop to random walk and cheers. Normal yet special.

Everyday seems special in a certain way :-)

Alive anew

It's beautiful
Colours come alive
Insanity, sanity
An endless debate

It's the little cheer
In the mundane zingsaw
Which fixes right
Across and downs

Withering willows
Comes abloom
In the autumn
Negating the rules of the game

Branching out
A world anew
Starting afresh
Like the morning dew

Beckons me yonder
A world unknown
A dreamy maze
A am walking in my sleep
To wake to the dream come alive

Feels like love yet again

I thought I had lost it somewhere. But my heart is potentially alive, it beats and skips a beat too.
The romantic rush feels no more sane but yes it does seem to give me a drive.
Should I say, it's just been two weeks and it's growing like how.
If everything goes well we might turn into neighbours.
Well let me explain, I have been struggling with being potentially homeless and looking for a house frantically.
Found a dream house - a red brick duplex with an awesome terrace overlooking the seamless jungle..ah I am still reveling in that fleeting dreamlike state..
There is an urgency to move out by the end of this week. This brings me back to the story where I began this post.
So this new zing has just moved to the maddening city from Bangalore. From the word go it was good. Instantaneous chemistry, something that shook me from my comfort zone.
Like we always settle in our set mould or we set a mould that is too comfotable to move from. And suddenly a zany feeling that tugs you hard and knocks you off the balance you have striven hard to achieve.
A fleeting boundary that sets your head against heart or two logical heads within.
I am watching!