And yes by the logic of above lots has happened.
Friday was the day of speaking, shouting out my heart through the technocraft and text message. Sorted. 'Friendship triumphs'.
While I write this a colleague just pointed to the article in today's ToI supplement written by a dear friend's mother, a friend who died in a car crash in June last year.
He definetly was more than a friend but cannot define what it was that bound me to him.
As I continued to read the article something within me travels back to the days of knowing him. He was a journalist and a poet with fierce zeal for life. I did not even realise how smoothly he and his daughter became a part of my life. A borrowed life in default.
Oxford bookstore, mandi house, dargah of nizamuddin, music concerts few places which contiune to haunt me and as it has happened they have ceased to be a part of my life and so has he.
A sufi enthusiast and his love for sitar which were a regular do at all the gathering in his lovely, warm home. His company was infectious and zeal contagious. A poet who would always want an avid admirer in me to accompany to the Delhi Poetree Club.
Now that I look back, I realise how ruthlessly I severed all that was 'us' with a sudden realisation that was nothing short of treading the rough path as the attachment grew.
Afterall a borrowed life it was. But life happens to us in strange ways we fail to decipher when it is passing us by and it is only in afterthought that it dwells.
It was a friend and his colleague who broke the news of his accident to me. I was sleeping when the phone beeped and I was jolted with utter disbelief.
I had not been in his contact for half a year before the news was brought to me. It was beyond any redemption now, I had been cruel to dismiss his calls and text messages and requests to meet not to realise that the moment would never come back. But as they say knowledge is fleeting and eludes you in most desperate times.
He is gone. No longer a part of many lives he touched with affection, zeal, love and much more.
Someone who made me feel special.
I recent lost my pet for the same cause,,,and the day he died, that was the first day I came to office without meeting him or without saying bye to him, as I was not in my best mood...I still feel that I let the chance go cos of my anger...a chance of hugging him one last time
ReplyDeleteWell can understand your situation. But it is less painful in a way when you have consciously weaned away from someone who may have meant a lot as long as it was there. You get what I mean?
ReplyDeleteOf course I do understand. Its a feeling thats difficlut to get away with...sadness mixed with guilt.
ReplyDeleteI guess its his blog which is linked to this post - those words that he wrote were beautiful.
Hope you are feeling better now...or else have more of brownies and chocolates ;)
Take care
yes thats his blog. moving on is also a process.
ReplyDeletewell right now pizza on my mind buddy
It brings to mind the Question Does anyone ever really value friendship till the “taken for Granted” status is gone?
ReplyDeleteI know your pain but trust me girl moving on is hard it requires tons of comfort food & extreme measures like Retail Therapy, adventure sports, Vacations/ Holidays……
Are Pizzas the start of your list or the end?
i know what you mean. but as i said above in my response to garima. strange but true - it is easier when weaning away is a conscious choice - it simply gives the conviction to, as yous ay, move on.
ReplyDeletehahaha...pizza and chocolate could be a beginning and end all the same :)
ReplyDelete